Acquiring Chucked | the Metropolitan Dater

The fantastic thing about becoming handsome is you’re good-looking to both men and women. Actually, we simply take satisfaction contained in this dual-sexuality charm. I am not really what handsome of a guy, if you are not my personal mother (do not perverted, goodness dammit!). But we there are still people who think i am the “material.”

Anyway, this account isn’t really about me personally. This tale concerns my kid, Rod. People that look over the material for a while now, may keep in mind Rod from the tail of
Crazy Text Messages.
Yep, I’m talking about the same guy.

Thankfully in my situation and, more importantly, for your needs he’s allowed us to tell another account of total and total violence. Nowadays, we analyze the story of Rod, a

All The Best Chuck

for new age.

If you remember the standard assumption of 2007’s
Razzie
Nominated Good Luck Chuck, you could remember that Dickhead MaGee (Dane Cook) had a curse that when the guy slept with a women, they would discover their true-love aka next guy they attach with… Terrible flick. Insert Rod: “a lot better than fiction.” There is not a really an expression because of this… Could we call-it “Acquiring Chucked?”  For this article, we’re going to just use that, mmkay?

Go into the Vag at the Own Danger

Im responsible at the least for some of those cases of Rod getting

Chucked.

If memory space acts me really, I launched or put him in a position to meet and date about three lovely ladies. This is during times when i must say i wished to complement my pals collectively. Naturally, i am an asshole and I also no longer play the matchmaking game.

Rod Vs. Herzog O’Hoolihan

– younger Rod had been ready for fighting as he began matchmaking Herzog, certainly one of my personal close friends, who is had the experience for my situation much more instances than i could count. This lasted a brief few months as a recall. Things started off with great fun, but failed to exercise, whenever Herzog pulled the much reviled rip-heart-out-of-chest-with-bare-hand fatality on Rod… Result? #sadpandaface, Herzog provides since, received involved and also limited army of kids and resides in the world of Happily Ever After…

Distance to Matrimonial Bliss? Two guys.

Rod Vs. Lyrica McSpankyPants


and Dormatta Vue –

Oh, yes, I remember that one. It absolutely was a bit funny exactly how this package played away… Really, about initially. Rod ended up being on hunt, the thing is that. He previously came across a set of in a position and eligible bachelorettes at one of my much-hyped Halloween functions. I happened to be amazed, the man was going to tw0-fist his online dating life!

Lyrica had been a great gal, who i’ve known for a long, long-time. Nice as cake she ended up being and she could not hold her eyes of Rod. The spent a lot of fun nights with each other, you are sure that, because so many those who are into performing each other are wont to accomplish. That isn’t the amusing. The amusing, after that, you ask? Some days, he would get in his auto and drive a block and one half to Dormatta’s place to hang out employing wang on. Certainly, the 2 ladies he was dating happened to be only block from just one another. Rod, I think, at first ended up being agitated and stressed by this unforeseen ease, but later increased attracted to the opportunity it supplied. The chance cost was definitely in his favor.

Much like anything else in daily life, if it is great, it needs to started to an-end. Eventually Rod stopped clinging out/calling Lyrica in genuine “fade-to-black” trend (aka just “the fade”). The guy finished up dating Dormatta for over a couple of years before she left him, got interested and moved out from the country all within a years’ time.

Range to Matrimonial Bliss? One dude. Let’s fast onward annually many change…

Rod vs. Slutty Dorothy

– Now, this package failed to endure too much time. Rod had experienced a fairly legendary break up and are you aware of what the cunning runt of a guy performed? The guy moved and dated their ex’s best friend!  Well played sir, well played certainly! Slutty Dorothy (no offense to sluts around me the globe. I favor you kids) ended up being, well, slutty-hot. It just happened at just one more Halloween party that their particular brief three month extended stretch of passion ended up being coming to an end. Was just about it angry-nerd complex that kiled the partnership, or had been the girl witnessing some one unofficially?  Worldwide may never know. All i will inform you is that the connection ended after this celebration. She broke circumstances off with him, dressed in a Slutty Dorothy dress (hot, right>?). She wound up getting straight back with an ex and obtaining involved within many short months…

Length to Matrimonial Bliss? Whoosh!

The moral of this tale kids? Getting Good-luck Chuck sucks worse than that shitty motion picture actually ever performed… Oh! And stop meeting folks on Halloween! Yeah!